I don't need anyone. Because I can do every single thing that a person in a relationship can. Everything. Even zip up my own dress. You know, there are some things that are actually harder to do with two people. Such as monologues.

I got rid of all my Colin Firth movies in case they consider it erotica.

Can I share with you my worldview? All of humankind has one thing in common: the sandwich. I believe that all anyone really wants in this life is to sit in peace and eat a sandwich.

My heart's pounding like I'm watching Oprah's farewell season.

I don't like writing in front of a lot of people, it has to be an intimate experience with people I trust.

You didn't realize emotion could be a weapon? Have you not read the poetry of Jewel?

You can do some serious subway flirting before you realize the guy is homeless.