I don't need anyone. Because I can do every single thing that a person in a relationship can. Everything. Even zip up my own dress. You know, there are some things that are actually harder to do with two people. Such as monologues.

I want to do that thing rich people do where they turn money into more money.

Lizzing is a combination of laughing and whizzing.

I don't like writing in front of a lot of people, it has to be an intimate experience with people I trust.

There ain't no party like a Liz Lemon party 'cause a Liz Lemon party is mandatory!

Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French and hasn't cried once today? This moi.

God, three weddings in one day, I'm going to be in Spanx for 12 hours. My elastic line is gonna get infected again.