Whatever the tiny bubbles sitting beautifully on the surface of the absolutely delicious-looking skin around his forehead and neck were, they were doing a lot for his overall appearance...and for my heart rate.

Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French and hasn't cried once today? This moi.

OK, here's a little bedroom tip: Put a bag of popcorn in the microwave beforehand. That way when you're done, you have a treat.

I will not calm down! Women are allowed to get angrier than men about double standards.

I want to do that thing rich people do where they turn money into more money.

I don't like writing in front of a lot of people, it has to be an intimate experience with people I trust.

I don't need anyone. Because I can do every single thing that a person in a relationship can. Everything. Even zip up my own dress. You know, there are some things that are actually harder to do with two people. Such as monologues.