Most people are dead. Hitler. Ray Charles. Some other guys. But mostly those two.

The problem is, the more famous you get, the more people see you who didn't choose to.

Talking is always positive. That's why I talk too much.

Sadness is poetic. You're lucky to live sad moments. When you let yourself be sad, your body has antibodies. It has happiness that comes rushing in to meet the sadness.

I love being married. It's great. But I hate arguing. I hate fighting. You know what I do now? When we get in an argument, I just take her side against me. It's just easier; it goes quicker. She's like, "What's wrong with you?" And I'm like, "I know! Damn it! Argh!"

...Then I got divorced and everything changed, and I became a father in a whole new way and found a whole new set of difficulties.

I do actually use a boxing trainer when I train for stand-up.