When people are getting richer and richer but they're not actually producing anything, it can't end well.

There's no real preparing at home for stand-up. You just go and you just do it.

A household name is like ketchup. Everybody wants ketchup. Ketchup doesn't hurt anybody.

People say there's delays on flights. Delays, really? New York to California in five hours, that used to take 30 years, a bunch of people used to die on the way there, have a baby, you would end up with a whole different group of people by the time you got there. Now you watch a movie and [go to the toilet] and you're home.

For my scale, how I grew up and live my life, I'm making plenty of money.

My uncles were all funny. My dad wasn't funny, but my uncles were all funny. Now I go back and I like him better than them, they were manipulative funny.

I was a nerd growing up, and I'm a little antisocial and awkward.