Most Americans have so much crap, that you could lose most of it and still have way more stuff than the average Canadian.

The only road to good shows is bad ones. Just go start having a bad time, and if you don't give up, you will get better.

It's a positive thing to talk about terrible things and make people laugh about them.

I have a lot of beliefs... and I live by none of them...

I like all ladies of all different ages.

The problem is, the more famous you get, the more people see you who didn't choose to.

There's a reason it's called 'girls gone wild' and not 'women gone wild'. When girls go wild, they show their tits. When women go wild, they kill men and drown their kids in a tub.