When you're young as a comic, you don't have a lot of leverage.

How do women still go out with guys, when you consider the fact that there is no greater threat to women than men? We're the number one threat to women. Globally and historically, we're the number one cause of injury and mayhem to women... You know what our number one threat is? Heart disease.

Plenty of crazy people in New York. There are so many crazy people here, I think it's like one out of every one person is completely out of their mind.

When you're a father in a marriage, you sort of become the mother's assistant, and you sort of get a list from her every day, and you do, you know, you run down the list, and it feels very much like a chore.

Life's too short to be an asshole, as an employer or as an employee.

I don't have a room full of writers pitching ideas. It's just me out of my head.

A very painful part of being a parent is having really negative feelings about your children when you love them so much.