It's just a big excuse to say awful things.

I found out that I'm a pretty bad father. I make a lot of mistakes and I don't know what I'm doing. But my kids love me. Go figure.

I've always got the road. Stand-up makes you so autonomous and self-sufficient that it really helps with that part of show business.

I was in a hotel room in Dallas, and I was jerking off so much and so sadly and pathetically, that the phone rang, and I thought it's them, they're complaining. ... "Sir, could you please stop?"

I do love standup. I love comedians. They're my community. Also, because I know so many of them, I know the value of them. I know what they can do.

There's nowhere I won't go. As long as it's horribly, horribly true and/or wrong.

Being popular with an audience is a very rickety ladder to be on.