When I am in a hotel, and I turn off the lights and the TV, I just freak out. I turn the TV back on and don't get any sleep.

I love comedians. They're my community.

I do actually use a boxing trainer when I train for stand-up.

All these words we use, anybody can be a genius now. It used to be you had to have a thought no one ever had before or you had to invent a number. Now, it’s like, “Hey, I’ve got a cup in case we need another cup.” “Dude, you’re a genius!”

I don't think women are better than men, I think men are a lot worse than women.

When you have bacon in your mouth, it doesn't matter who's president.

I thought about going to NYU film school - that was this ideal to me. But I didn't make any kind of grades in high school.