I wish I could [keep a journal]. I have a lot of journals with one page half written in. I sometimes will write myself a quick email on my Blackberry when I think of something.

Most people are dead. Hitler. Ray Charles. Some other guys. But mostly those two.

In 27 years doing this, I've seen a handful of truly great, masterful standup sets. One was Tig Notaro last night at Largo.

The thing is, comedy's gone in a weird direction. People are really into ironic comedy and fakeness and cleverness.

Well, I think “likability” is an overused word. I don’t watch people 'cause I like them; I watch them because they’re compelling. Sympathetic is a little different... Likable just thins you out. Working to make a character likable is what kills most TV shows.

I've had, what, two years? Probably five good years. Before that I had twenty years of uncertainty and suffering and ego destruction and poverty. All those things. That'll always outweigh the good times.

Well, when I was younger, I lied all the time, because once you understand the power of lying, it's really like magic because you transform reality for people.