In 27 years doing this, I've seen a handful of truly great, masterful standup sets. One was Tig Notaro last night at Largo.

Cars and cameras are the two things I let myself be materialistic about. I don't care about other stuff.

My kids are really easy. I often worry that they're too easy to deal with. They're really nice people.

If you do something and people think you're stupid, just go for crazy. You get more respect that way because nobody likes stupid people.

Comedians work great as actors because they're good under pressure. With a lot of actors, you have to make them feel like everything's going really well to get a good performance out of them. But, if you have a comedian on the set, you can tell them, 'Hey, you really are screwing this up,' and then they just get better.

I have Twitter so I can tell people what I want them to buy and they give me money.

I’m bored’ is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you’ve seen none percent of. Even the inside of your own mind is endless; it goes on forever, inwardly, do you understand? The fact that you’re alive is amazing, so you don’t get to say ‘I’m bored.