I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself.

When two kids are being completely berserk, and they're naked and throwing food around, sometimes I just let it go because I can see a future where they're going to be dressed, and they're going to be at school. So I kind of let stuff go sometimes.

If I owned a network, I would never let a guy just put people on without telling me who they are.

When you're young as a comic, you don't have a lot of leverage.

When people are getting richer and richer but they're not actually producing anything, it can't end well.

Everything that people say is testable.

Gay men have to go through something to own their - who they are. They get beat up. They get ostracized. Whatever they go through, if they survive it, they come out very confident people.