Technically, I've learned that having good legs and wind is good for being on stage. You have to be in shape and have endurance.

I know what it's like to have a bunch of material that's working that you don't care about. You want to die.

If you do something and people think you're stupid, just go for crazy. You get more respect that way because nobody likes stupid people.

Don't text or twitter during the show. Just live your life. Don't keep telling people what you're doing. Just, because also - also - it lights up your big dumb face.

I love comedians. They're my community.

It's just a big excuse to say awful things.

Expensive quality work doesn't cost more - it pays.