Sorry - Americans only buy things that come from suffering. They just enjoy it more when they know someone's getting hurt.

Why can't we have racism that's ignorant but nice? You could have stereotypes that are positive about race. You could say, "Those Chinese people, they can fly!" "You know about the Puerto Ricans? They're made of candy!"

I've always got the road. Stand-up makes you so autonomous and self-sufficient that it really helps with that part of show business.

Look at all the minorities around here! I'm the only majority.

I've always loved boxing. It's something I've always been extremely excited about.

There's a woman I see who's not my therapist, but she's like an old friend who's a therapist in profession. She lets me talk to her like a therapist once in a while, and she does a great thing. Whenever I have a big dilemma, like this is a big problem in my life, she always says, 'Wow, you're going to have to figure that out.'

The only pitch I have to movie people is the same as this one: Just give me $8 million. I'm not telling you what it's about and I'm not telling you who's in it.