People come back from flights and tell you a story like it's a horror story. That's how bad they make it sound. They're like, 'It was the worst day of my life. We didn't board for 20 minutes and they made us sit there on the runway for 40 minutes.' Oh really? What happened next? Did you fly in the air, incredibly, like a bird? Did you partake in the miracle of human flight you non-contributing zero?'

A very painful part of being a parent is having really negative feelings about your children when you love them so much.

Technically, I've learned that having good legs and wind is good for being on stage. You have to be in shape and have endurance.

The only road to good shows is bad ones. Just go start having a bad time, and if you don't give up, you will get better.

I think you have to try and fail, because failure gets you closer to what you're good at.

When you're a father in a marriage, you sort of become the mother's assistant, and you sort of get a list from her every day, and you do, you know, you run down the list, and it feels very much like a chore. And a lot of fathers live in kind of an avoidance. They sit on the toilet for several hours a day... Oh, honey, it took me 40 minutes to go to the post office... But once you become a dad without the mom there, you have to take it all on, and you sort of activate male skills that you didn't know you could apply to fatherhood.

You know, the people who do indie film and decide who gets those little budgets? They're mean, man. They're cold and very cool-oriented.