When you write from your gut and let the stuff stay flawed and don't let anybody tell you to make it better, it can end up looking like nothing else.

I wish I could [keep a journal]. I have a lot of journals with one page half written in. I sometimes will write myself a quick email on my Blackberry when I think of something.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Leave the dude alone and he'll figure it out.

I know I'm getting old because there will be times when I'm not even doing anything and I'll think, 'I need to go wipe my ass right now.'

There's nowhere I won't go. As long as it's horribly, horribly true and/or wrong.

There's no such thing as a cheap laugh.

I'm not motivated to entertain people through Twitter, so just by having Twitter and not saying anything, I make people mad.