I don't have sex drive... I have sex 'just sit in the car and hope someone gets in'.

I like being full, every day, with stuff that I have to do.

You have to do a show as honestly as you can. But you also can't afford skepticism, because it's preparing for failure, which is useless.

There's nothing that beats proving you're funny by making a funny thing, and right now there are huge outlets for that, with You Tube and all the other stuff online.

You ever go to shop for tuna, and it says "dolphin safe", and you look at it and kind of go, "Yeah, but"-like somehow you think it's not going to be as good? Like, "I want to do the right thing-but it's probably kind of bland without the dolphin."

Some people think it's demeaning to victims if you ever say anything out-loud about sexual abuse of children. I don't know if that's true.

Life isn't something you possess. It's something you take part in, and you witness.