I don't have sex drive... I have sex 'just sit in the car and hope someone gets in'.

I don't think it makes any sense to try to get anyone to not talk.

When I am in a hotel, and I turn off the lights and the TV, I just freak out. I turn the TV back on and don't get any sleep.

I think one reason TV has always done well is because there is something comforting where you kind of know what you're going to be taken through.

Most people are dead. Did you know that? It's true, out of all the people that ever were, almost all of them are dead.

When you have bacon in your mouth, it doesn't matter who's president.

I was driving in Manhattan. There's traffic, nobody's moving... The guy behind me is honking just at me. He kept yelling at me. I decided that I'm gonna argue with this guy, but I'm gonna argue about something else. I'm not having his argument; I'm having mine. So, he's like, 'Go!' And I go, 'Well give me back my jacket!' And he stopped. I was like, 'Yeah, you got my jacket! Give it back! I said you could borrow it, not have it! You're stretching it out, you fat pig! Give it back, now!' He got back in his car, and he locked his doors.