Bill has three goldfish. He buys two more. How many dogs live in London?

The thing is, comedy's gone in a weird direction. People are really into ironic comedy and fakeness and cleverness.

The problem is, the more famous you get, the more people see you who didn't choose to.

It's just a big excuse to say awful things.

You ever go to shop for tuna, and it says "dolphin safe", and you look at it and kind of go, "Yeah, but"-like somehow you think it's not going to be as good? Like, "I want to do the right thing-but it's probably kind of bland without the dolphin."

The only time you should look in your neighbor's bowl is to make sure that they have enough. You don't look in your neighbor's bowl to see if you have as much as them.

There's nothing that beats proving you're funny by making a funny thing, and right now there are huge outlets for that, with You Tube and all the other stuff online.