I've met a lot of people who've lost their jobs and they still have a sense of humor.

If you're a woman and a guy's ever said anything romantic to you, he just left off the second part that would have made you sick if you could have heard it.

Everything is amazing and nobody is happy

I read something in the paper that really confused me the other day. It said that 80 percent of the people in New York are minorities. Shouldn't you not call them minorities when they get to be 80 percent of the population? That's a very white attitude, don't you think? I mean, you could take a white guy to Africa and he'd be like 'Look at all the minorities around here! I'm the only majority.'

If you do something and people think you're stupid, just go for crazy. You get more respect that way because nobody likes stupid people.

How do women still go out with guys, when you consider the fact that there is no greater threat to women than men? We're the number one threat to women. Globally and historically, we're the number one cause of injury and mayhem to women... You know what our number one threat is? Heart disease.

All talking is good, negative and positive. Stabbing is bad; talking is good.