I've met a lot of people who've lost their jobs and they still have a sense of humor.

I was a nerd growing up, and I'm a little antisocial and awkward.

Breaking records is not something you expect to be doing. That's like a sports thing, it's not usually a comedy and writing thing.

I finally have the body I want. It’s easy, actually, you just have to want a really shitty body.

There's no way you ask Sean Penn a question and then, you're gonna be HUGE !

If you're a woman and a guy's ever said anything romantic to you, he just left off the second part that would have made you sick if you could have heard it.

Plenty of crazy people in New York. There are so many crazy people here, I think it's like one out of every one person is completely out of their mind.