I was a nerd growing up, and I'm a little antisocial and awkward.

Stereotypically speaking feminists can't take a joke. ::audience boo:: See?

I'm not raising the children, I'm raising the grown ups that they're going to be.

I've started to kind of hate people, and it's not because I have anything against them. It's just, I enjoy it. It's recreation.

When you're a father in a marriage, you sort of become the mother's assistant, and you sort of get a list from her every day, and you do, you know, you run down the list, and it feels very much like a chore. And a lot of fathers live in kind of an avoidance. They sit on the toilet for several hours a day... Oh, honey, it took me 40 minutes to go to the post office... But once you become a dad without the mom there, you have to take it all on, and you sort of activate male skills that you didn't know you could apply to fatherhood.

People come back from flights and tell you a story like it's a horror story. That's how bad they make it sound. They're like, 'It was the worst day of my life. We didn't board for 20 minutes and they made us sit there on the runway for 40 minutes.' Oh really? What happened next? Did you fly in the air, incredibly, like a bird? Did you partake in the miracle of human flight you non-contributing zero?'

All talking is good, negative and positive. Stabbing is bad; talking is good.