It’s been a very old thing for people to gather together and laugh at stuff. The first comedian in America really was Abraham Lincoln. He used to go to a pub near where he lived and stand in front of the fire and he packed the place every night and he would just talk and bust everybody in their guts. He was just a hilarious speaker and that’s what he did.

My kids and I figured out that there’s a third kind of person, and I don’t know what you call them, but it’s somebody who sees that the glass is always full because it’s half full with water and half full with nothing, so that’s the third kind of person. I don’t know what it is.

I was an awkward kid.

I've tried to do away with lying in my life in the last few years, but it's hard.

The ability to just sit there. That's being a person.

Everything is amazing and nobody is happy

Last week I got a flu that I caught, 'cause my daughter coughed ... into my mouth.