I was a nerd growing up, and I'm a little antisocial and awkward.
God is like a shitty girlfriend.
It's easier to cancel a show if it's expensive.
People say, 'My phone sucks.' No, it doesnโt! The shittiest cellphone in the world is a miracle. Your life sucks. Around the phone.
People don't talk to me on airplanes.
I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping as we all should. I dunno. You don't live that long. It doesn't matter.