Rob McElhenney who runs 'It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.' That show absolutely kills me and I am stunned by the consistency of greatness it has maintained over what is now a record breaking amount of seasons ... How do you do that for so many years? My 14-year-old daughter and I watch it together and we both laugh crazy hard.

You don't look down at your feet. A lot of comedians want to look down at their feet, but you break contact with the audience.

I always tell my kids to cut a sandwich in half right when you get it, and the first thought you should have is somebody else. You only ever need half a burger.

I don't have a gun, but if I did, I would shoot a baby deer in the mouth and feel nothing.

I was in a hotel room in Dallas, and I was jerking off so much and so sadly and pathetically, that the phone rang, and I thought it's them, they're complaining. ... "Sir, could you please stop?"

You have to do a show as honestly as you can. But you also can't afford skepticism, because it's preparing for failure, which is useless.

I think one reason TV has always done well is because there is something comforting where you kind of know what you're going to be taken through.