Maybe God is an asshole...of course not, he's not an asshole, he's imaginary.

When I read things like the foundations of capitalism are shattering, I'm like, maybe we need that. Maybe we need some time where we're walking around with a donkey with pots clanging on the sides.

Spend time with your kids and have your own ideas about what they need. It won't take away your manhood; it will give it to you.

I do have very deep, fond memories of my family in Mexico City, but I also remember feeling funny for not speaking English - I was basically an immigrant. But I picked up the language fast and soon I knew that I wanted to be a writer.

Friends should always tell you the truth. But please don’t.

You have to do a show as honestly as you can. But you also can't afford skepticism, because it's preparing for failure, which is useless.

I'd like to name my kid a whole phrase. You know, something like Ladies and Gentlemen. That'll be a cool name for a kid. This is my son, Ladies and Gentlemen! Then, when he gets out of hand, I get to go, Ladies and Gentlemen, please!