Maybe God is an asshole...of course not, he's not an asshole, he's imaginary.

It's just a big excuse to say awful things.

There's a reason it's called 'girls gone wild' and not 'women gone wild'. When girls go wild, they show their tits. When women go wild, they kill men and drown their kids in a tub.

I don't think women are better than men, I think men are a lot worse than women.

Most Americans have so much crap, that you could lose most of it and still have way more stuff than the average Canadian.

I ate too much and masturbated too recently, you know? It's bad to like jerk off and run out the door, 'cause you run into somebody. "Oh, she knows..." You got to take some time alone to process the shame.

Anytime you see a bit where some stranger does something to me, it's me.