I do have very deep, fond memories of my family in Mexico City, but I also remember feeling funny for not speaking English - I was basically an immigrant. But I picked up the language fast and soon I knew that I wanted to be a writer.

If you do something and people think you're stupid, just go for crazy. You get more respect that way because nobody likes stupid people.

Misery is wasted on the miserable.

A very painful part of being a parent is having really negative feelings about your children when you love them so much.

I would rather be with my kids than anybody else.

It’s been a very old thing for people to gather together and laugh at stuff. The first comedian in America really was Abraham Lincoln. He used to go to a pub near where he lived and stand in front of the fire and he packed the place every night and he would just talk and bust everybody in their guts. He was just a hilarious speaker and that’s what he did.

Most people are dead. Did you know that? It's true, out of all the people that ever were, almost all of them are dead.