Sometimes I try to take a nap before shows. That clears my head.

People say there's delays on flights. Delays, really? New York to California in five hours, that used to take 30 years, a bunch of people used to die on the way there, have a baby, you would end up with a whole different group of people by the time you got there. Now you watch a movie and [go to the toilet] and you're home.

Being popular with an audience is a very rickety ladder to be on.

I do have very deep, fond memories of my family in Mexico City, but I also remember feeling funny for not speaking English - I was basically an immigrant. But I picked up the language fast and soon I knew that I wanted to be a writer.

Sorry - Americans only buy things that come from suffering. They just enjoy it more when they know someone's getting hurt.

I'm not motivated to entertain people through Twitter, so just by having Twitter and not saying anything, I make people mad.

There's nothing that beats proving you're funny by making a funny thing, and right now there are huge outlets for that, with You Tube and all the other stuff online.