There's nowhere I won't go. As long as it's horribly, horribly true and/or wrong.

Expensive quality work doesn't cost more - it pays.

If you do something and people think you're stupid, just go for crazy. You get more respect that way because nobody likes stupid people.

There's a woman I see who's not my therapist, but she's like an old friend who's a therapist in profession. She lets me talk to her like a therapist once in a while, and she does a great thing. Whenever I have a big dilemma, like this is a big problem in my life, she always says, 'Wow, you're going to have to figure that out.'

I do feel a lot of times like I'm out of my league with my kids in terms of what my responsibility is.

I don't feel those limits when I'm on stage. For some reason, audiences let me get away with things. Remember, it's all comedy. Words. Thoughts. All thoughts are safe and worth exploring.

Everybody is different. Some comedy is more musical like Steven Wright. His is a pillar of comedy to me. He invented a whole form and all his jokes are poems. So it's different. I wanted to do it like George Carlin. Now I do it like me.