Friends should always tell you the truth. But please don’t.

You have to be aware of who you're talking to in an audience.

A household name is like ketchup. Everybody wants ketchup. Ketchup doesn't hurt anybody.

When I am in a hotel, and I turn off the lights and the TV, I just freak out. I turn the TV back on and don't get any sleep.

You know, the people who do indie film and decide who gets those little budgets? They're mean, man. They're cold and very cool-oriented.

You can't cancel my stand-up tours. It's impossible. There's too many separate bosses. There is no 'bosses.'

I'm a good citizen. I'm a good father. I recycle and I masturbate.