I like being full, every day, with stuff that I have to do.

The problem is, the more famous you get, the more people see you who didn't choose to.

I find that when people laugh really hard, it's usually because they're connecting and identifying in a way that they hadn't considered. That's my payoff.

I don't think women are better than men, I think men are a lot worse than women.

Comedy isn't polite and it isn't correct and it isn't accurate, even. It's just a mess. So that's the way that I approach it.

...Then I got divorced and everything changed, and I became a father in a whole new way and found a whole new set of difficulties.

I love being married. It's great. But I hate arguing. I hate fighting. You know what I do now? When we get in an argument, I just take her side against me. It's just easier; it goes quicker. She's like, "What's wrong with you?" And I'm like, "I know! Damn it! Argh!"