Life isn't something you possess. It's something you take part in, and you witness.

Stand-up is probably the most solo performance in art.

Some entertainers don't pay attention to what's going on around them.

It's hard having kids because it's boring... It's just being with them on the floor while they be children. They read Clifford the Big Red Dog to you at a rate of 50 minutes a page, and you have to sit there and be horribly proud and bored at the same time.

You would never do stand-up without an audience. I mean, no one would even consider it. It's like they're the instrument you're playing.

When you're a father in a marriage, you sort of become the mother's assistant, and you sort of get a list from her every day, and you do, you know, you run down the list, and it feels very much like a chore.

I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping as we all should. I dunno. You don't live that long. It doesn't matter.