Life isn't something you possess. It's something you take part in, and you witness.

You would never do stand-up without an audience. I mean, no one would even consider it. It's like they're the instrument you're playing.

The ability to just sit there. That's being a person.

If I owned a network, I would never let a guy just put people on without telling me who they are.

The Jackass movies are honestly some of the best movies I've ever seen. I laugh so hard at them. Those guys are geniuses. If they had grown up with a different group of people, they could've been performance artists at Bard College, and people would be writing papers about them.

I could never sit down and write jokes.

I don't have a brother in real life.