I do love standup. I love comedians. They're my community. Also, because I know so many of them, I know the value of them. I know what they can do.

You would never do stand-up without an audience. I mean, no one would even consider it. It's like they're the instrument you're playing.

I think I'm past any window where I'm suddenly going to become surprisingly ripped so that people go, 'Oh, my God, what happened to you?'

Sorry - Americans only buy things that come from suffering. They just enjoy it more when they know someone's getting hurt.

I've always benefited from knowing machines well, because it's freedom, it gives you freedom, I always knew that.

Very few American parents give a crap about how they raise their kids. They put minimal effort into it. Who told you it's a good idea to buy a developing mind a video game?

I watch a lot of sports. But when I'm not working, I'm with my daughters every chance I get.