I've had soccer moms come up and tell me they can relate when I say that I want to throw my baby in the trash.

Out of the people that ever were, almost all of them are dead. There are way more dead people, and you're all gonna die and then you're gonna be dead for way longer than you're alive. Like that's mostly what you're ever gonna be. You're just dead people that didn't die yet.

I love stand-up more than anything, and I'm so happy to have found a way to use it in the show.

The ability to just sit there. That's being a person.

The thing is, comedy's gone in a weird direction. People are really into ironic comedy and fakeness and cleverness.

I read something in the paper that really confused me the other day. It said that 80 percent of the people in New York are minorities. Shouldn't you not call them minorities when they get to be 80 percent of the population? That's a very white attitude, don't you think? I mean, you could take a white guy to Africa and he'd be like 'Look at all the minorities around here! I'm the only majority.'

Perception is created and twisted so quickly.