Who wouldn't want to see some owl eggs?" I said, "Come on then, they are down here." He said, "Tallulah, the answer to who wouldn't want to see some owl eggs is... me!!!!

I put my arm around her and said, "Jas, I have found that when you are troubled, it is often better to think of others rather than yourself. I think you would feel much better if you got me some milky coffee and jammy dodgers and I told you all about me.

Dad at breakfast today being very quiet. I notice he is clean shaven. I said to him, "Vati, what has happened to the little beaver that used to live on the end of your chin?

He has a song in his heart for me. I hope it is not "Shut Uppa You Face, Whatsa Matta You.

...Then it said on the news, "And tonight the Prime Minister has just got to Number Ten." I looked down at Jas and said, "Ooer." Meaning he'd got to number ten on the snogging scale. And then we both laughed like loons. Vati just looked at us like we were mad.

I said, "Do you think she thinks it's me?" Jas said, "Well, it's pretty conclusive, isn't it? She said 'the most sniveling idiot I have ever come across.'" I said, "I didn't know that YOU have been seeing Masimo. Tom the Slug King is going to be very upset.

P.P.S. I am giving you telepathic hugs. P.P.P.S. But not in a telepathically lezzie way.