Many fathers go their entire lives without announcing how sexy their son's old girlfriends are.
Mallory OrtbergIf you get a dog, take care of your dog! You can just not have a dog if you don't feel like taking care of one, it's very easy to not have a dog.
Mallory OrtbergOne of the glorious things about being a person in the world is that you don't have to worry about whether or not someone else is trying to be creepy.
Mallory Ortberg