For 15 years of my life I smoked, I drank, I used to do drugs... but during that time, I never once thought I was going to die. But the second I set foot on a stairmaster -the second- I am sure my heart is gonna explode and blood is gonna spray out of my nose.

We live in an age where people are like, "I'd love to catch up. Maybe text me later? But don't call because I don't really listen to my messages. But if you text me..." We've displaced interaction into sound bites and untethered phrases and sentences that come up on the phone as Twitter feed.

I’m glad to be part of the war on sadness. I’m a part time employee of the illusion that keeps people stupid.

You hope to see an arc of growth in your ability to become a character on television.

On some level any appearance on Television can be seen as a product endorsement.

Dogs are too much to handle. I don't need anything in my house that's needier than me.

There are a lot of things that I'm allowing myself to be, but it's a conscious effort to experience contentment for me. My brain doesn't do that naturally. I'm very overwhelmed all of the time.