I think that standup has always been an acquired taste and there was always only a handful of performers that were really inspired.

I’m glad to be part of the war on sadness. I’m a part time employee of the illusion that keeps people stupid.

There was a period when I was getting a lot of banana bread, because I mentioned someone cooked me banana bread, and then everyone cooked me baked stuff, and I would take it to the hotel, and it was making me fat.

It always astounds me that over the course of my career, and having lived in four comedy cities - New York, Boston, San Francisco, and Los Angeles - there's very few people I haven't run into.

Dogs are too much to handle. I don't need anything in my house that's needier than me.

I don't really compartmentalize well. I'm in a state of anxiety and panic a lot, but it's for different reasons. It used to be because I had nothing going on, but I work very hard and there doesn't seem to be an end to it.

As a performer you are being used to keep people watching so the commercial endorsements that support the network can be seen by as many people as possible.