I'm best known as a stand-up comedian, but I'm a good actor in the right role.

I think Ross Noble is the only person that I've seen really storm a stand-up slot at a festival, and that was when he led 3,000 people on a conga out of the tent and across the entire site to a vegetarian food truck.

Christians, you and your churches don't get to be millionaires while other people have nothing at all. They're your bloody rules! Either stick to them or abandon the faith.

There are a lot of comics at the top end making staggering amounts of money and selling out stadiums. I think stand-up is a more intimate thing than that. Maybe because of the kind of comedy I do. It's like a discussion, but I'm the one with the microphone.

You know you are fat when you hug a child and it gets lost.

I find it hard to get enthusiastic about hotels because, as a touring comic, I spend a lot of time in them.

Never Google yourself. Seriously, don't!