Jews, I know you're God's chosen people and the rest of us are just 'whatever', but when Israel behaves like a violent, psychopathic bully and someone mentions it, that doesn't make them anti-Semitic.

I find it hard to get enthusiastic about hotels because, as a touring comic, I spend a lot of time in them.

If you want something Scottish, go get yourself a kilt.

My purist comedy friends accuse me of being a Jack of all trades and master of none.

I spend my jollity on stage, so there is less in my own life.

I think Ross Noble is the only person that I've seen really storm a stand-up slot at a festival, and that was when he led 3,000 people on a conga out of the tent and across the entire site to a vegetarian food truck.

If you go on stage with an agenda, you have to accept not everyone's going to agree with it.