The basic function of a comic is stand-up because it's so straightforward and simple. If the audience don't laugh, you didn't do your job. I've had some audiences where I didn't care if they laughed or not because they were either too drunk or stupid.

I went to China for a brief working visit, and I thought that Shanghai was interesting, but Beijing totally grabbed me.

I'm more pompous and self-assured and determined that if - you know - if the truth can be told so as to be understood, it will be believed.

Christians, you and your churches don't get to be millionaires while other people have nothing at all. They're your bloody rules! Either stick to them or abandon the faith.

I find it hard to get enthusiastic about hotels because, as a touring comic, I spend a lot of time in them.

And much as I enjoy writing and creating stuff, I don't enjoy it so much that I am willing to give up any time that could otherwise be spent performing.

All my shows are therapy, trying to navigate interesting subjects so I can work them out and to be honest and say some things are beyond the wit of this man.