The most successful comics are always the hardest-working ones.

Eventually, somewhere - be it on the Internet or somewhere else - I will host some version of 'The Daily Show.'

I have learnt that I am incapable of packing the right amount of clothing, probably because I start 10 minutes before I'm supposed to leave, and that I truly hate airports.

I went to China for a brief working visit, and I thought that Shanghai was interesting, but Beijing totally grabbed me.

I am not racked with self-loathing. Some issues of guilt and shame, but I'm a pretty good guy.

Jews, I know you're God's chosen people and the rest of us are just 'whatever', but when Israel behaves like a violent, psychopathic bully and someone mentions it, that doesn't make them anti-Semitic.

No one wants life to end. It was bad enough when my last tour came to an end.