I'm more pompous and self-assured and determined that if - you know - if the truth can be told so as to be understood, it will be believed.

I realised that to compare your insides with other people's outsides leads to unhappiness.

There are a lot of comics at the top end making staggering amounts of money and selling out stadiums. I think stand-up is a more intimate thing than that. Maybe because of the kind of comedy I do. It's like a discussion, but I'm the one with the microphone.

The most successful comics are always the hardest-working ones.

I think it's important never to look yourself up on Wikipedia. I think the temptation to correct any interesting factual errors would be too much.

I think Ross Noble is the only person that I've seen really storm a stand-up slot at a festival, and that was when he led 3,000 people on a conga out of the tent and across the entire site to a vegetarian food truck.

If you want something Scottish, go get yourself a kilt.