I'm more pompous and self-assured and determined that if - you know - if the truth can be told so as to be understood, it will be believed.

I'm best known as a stand-up comedian, but I'm a good actor in the right role.

Catholicism has the clerical equivalent to a nut allergy - even a small exposure to change, and the whole thing will go into anaphylactic shock.

There are a lot of comics at the top end making staggering amounts of money and selling out stadiums. I think stand-up is a more intimate thing than that. Maybe because of the kind of comedy I do. It's like a discussion, but I'm the one with the microphone.

If you want something Scottish, go get yourself a kilt.

All my shows are therapy, trying to navigate interesting subjects so I can work them out and to be honest and say some things are beyond the wit of this man.

I realised that to compare your insides with other people's outsides leads to unhappiness.