I'm more pompous and self-assured and determined that if - you know - if the truth can be told so as to be understood, it will be believed.

I went to China for a brief working visit, and I thought that Shanghai was interesting, but Beijing totally grabbed me.

Jews, I know you're God's chosen people and the rest of us are just 'whatever', but when Israel behaves like a violent, psychopathic bully and someone mentions it, that doesn't make them anti-Semitic.

The basic function of a comic is stand-up because it's so straightforward and simple. If the audience don't laugh, you didn't do your job. I've had some audiences where I didn't care if they laughed or not because they were either too drunk or stupid.

My purist comedy friends accuse me of being a Jack of all trades and master of none.

I have a very good memory for scripts. I can watch a show I like once, then remember about 90% of the script. But ask me who was in it, and I wouldn't have a clue.

Eventually, somewhere - be it on the Internet or somewhere else - I will host some version of 'The Daily Show.'