I like all kinds of comedy. I like comedy that doesn't talk about real beliefs or serious thoughts, but then I also like the stuff that does. I think it just depends. It's a completely personal choice.

When you're a comedian, you're just by yourself.

People get really irritated by mental illness.

The thing that keeps the thoughts coming back is the power that you put in the thought that you can't think of it.

I'm not looking for much, I just want, like, a really nice guy who has, you know, like a job... and the missing half of this golden amulet.

Thirty ways to shape up for summer. Number one: eat less. Number two: exercise more. Number three: what was I talking about again? I'm so hungry.

If you stay alive for no other reason do it for spite