Thirty ways to shape up for summer. Number one: eat less. Number two: exercise more. Number three: what was I talking about again? I'm so hungry.

My mom is very religious and she said, 'Whatever you think about all the time, that's what you worship.' If that's the case I'd like everyone to pop open their Diet Coke cans and turn to page 37 of their People Magazines. In this holy scripture, we read the parable of Ms. Valerie Bertinelli.

I express things through characters because I have a fear that my own voice is irritating because thats been said to me.

I think the Internet has made it easier for people to connect with things that they really like, as well as provide a more personal experience, of 'I found this!' and then you can pass it to friends.

I can't stand makeup commercials. 'Do you need a lipstick that keeps your lips kissable?' No, I need a lipstick that gets me equal pay for equal work. How about an eye shadow that makes me stop thinking I'm too fat?

Sometimes I worry I don't want to get married as much as I'd like to be dipped in a vat of warm, rising bread dough.

I'm not technically rich, but I do have a lot of s**t that I don't need, that I refuse to share with others.