Sometimes I worry I don't want to get married as much as I'd like to be dipped in a vat of warm, rising bread dough.

I just love that part of comedy, where you see somebody's jokes develop. They try something new to see what works, and I just love that part.

I do wanna get married. It just sounds great. You get to go grocery shopping together, rent videos, and the kissing and the hugging and the kissing and the hugging under the cozy covers. Mmmm! But sometimes I worry that I don't wanna get married as much as I want to get dipped in a vat of warm, rising bread dough. That might feel pretty good, too.

I feel bad about that, that I worship celebrities... but their moods create weather.

I have trouble watching singers because they are so sincere.

I'm not technically rich, but I do have a lot of s**t that I don't need, that I refuse to share with others.

I'm not looking for much, I just want, like, a really nice guy who has, you know, like a job... and the missing half of this golden amulet.