I just love that part of comedy, where you see somebody's jokes develop. They try something new to see what works, and I just love that part.

My mom is very religious and she said, 'Whatever you think about all the time, that's what you worship.' If that's the case I'd like everyone to pop open their Diet Coke cans and turn to page 37 of their People Magazines. In this holy scripture, we read the parable of Ms. Valerie Bertinelli.

If you're ever if you're ever thinking, “Oh, but I'm a waste of space and I'm a burden,” remember: that also describes the Grand Canyon. Why don't you have friends and family take pictures of you from a safe distance? Revel in your majestic profile?

I'm not technically rich, but I do have a lot of s**t that I don't need, that I refuse to share with others.

I love festivals because they seem like more of an artsy, supportive attitude - which benefits a more theatrical performer sometimes with having theater and other non-club venues, as well as the audience being filled with other artists. It's nice to be with other comics, as usually at other road gigs, I'm solo for the most part.

I would've been able to write anything about mental-health crises had I not felt good.

I have received more fulfillment and adulation than I would ever know what to do with in terms of show business.