I just love that part of comedy, where you see somebody's jokes develop. They try something new to see what works, and I just love that part.

If you stay alive for no other reason do it for spite

My mom is very religious and she said, 'Whatever you think about all the time, that's what you worship.' If that's the case I'd like everyone to pop open their Diet Coke cans and turn to page 37 of their People Magazines. In this holy scripture, we read the parable of Ms. Valerie Bertinelli.

I get sort of short with people and start grumbling and clearing my throat - in honor of my father - when I'm impatient. It's very charming.

There's a reason I'm a stand-up comedian. I think there may be some laziness inherent in that job. It's the four-hour work week, on some level. I mean, I work at it, but it's not that kind of... it's just not the hours at all. So I was extremely grateful for the job. It was super, super fun, and I'm surprised that I made it.

Even if you're disgusting, and everyone is creeped out by you and thinks you're gross, you know, keep doing what you love!

I think the Internet has made it easier for people to connect with things that they really like, as well as provide a more personal experience, of 'I found this!' and then you can pass it to friends.