I have trouble watching singers because they are so sincere.

Even if you're disgusting, and everyone is creeped out by you and thinks you're gross, you know, keep doing what you love!

I have received more fulfillment and adulation than I would ever know what to do with in terms of show business.

My mom is very religious and she said, 'Whatever you think about all the time, that's what you worship.' If that's the case I'd like everyone to pop open their Diet Coke cans and turn to page 37 of their People Magazines. In this holy scripture, we read the parable of Ms. Valerie Bertinelli.

Some of my friends and family have tried to challenge me to do jokes that aren't as self-deprecating, where I genuinely express my own opinion in my own voice.

I have trouble watching singers because they are so sincere.

I get sort of short with people and start grumbling and clearing my throat - in honor of my father - when I'm impatient. It's very charming.