There are no shortcuts. The fact that a shortcut is important to you means that you are a pussy.

Exercise is not a thing we do to fix a problem - it is a thing we must do anyway, a thing without which there will always be problems

Humans are not physically normal in the absence of hard physical effort.

Start training yourself. You don't have to have been an elite lifter to be a good coach - I sure as hell wasn't. But you have to at least have been under the bar enough to know why wedon't look up at the bleeding ceiling when we squat!

You don't get big and strong from lifting weights - you get big and strong from recovering from lifting weights

The only legitimate use for a glove is to cover an injury... A desire to prevent callus formation (possibly so as to not snag one's pantyhose) does not constitute a legitimate use. And if you do insist on wearing gloves, make sure they match your purse.

Most of the problems with the bodies and minds of the folks occupying the current culture involve an unwillingness to do anything hard, or anything that they'd rather not do. I applaud your resolve, and I welcome you to the community of people who have decided that EASY will no longer suffice.