Some authorities hold that the young ought not to lie at all. That, of course, is putting it rather stronger than necessary; still, while I cannot go quite so far as that, I do maintain, and I believe I am right, that the young ought to be temperate in the use of this great art until practice and experience shall give them that confidence, elegance and precision which alone can make the accomplishment graceful and profitable.

What is the real function, the essential function, the supreme function, of language? Isn't it merely to convey ideas and emotions? Certainly. Then if we can do it with words of fonetic brevity and compactness, why keep the present cumbersome forms?

There is no such thing as a new idea. We simply take a lot of old ideas and put them into a sort of mental kaleidoscope.

One holds a bottle of red wine by the neck, a woman by the waist, and a bottle of champagne by the derriere.

The trouble with most of us is that we know too much that ain't so.

I don't want my girl to be so skinny she can knife me with her knee.

There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it can destroy bad principles and recreate good ones; it can lift men to angelship.