A gentleman is someone who knows how to play the banjo and doesn't.

Don't look at the world with your hands in your pockets. To write about it you have to reach out and touch it.

Vote: The only commodity that is peddleable without a license.

Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

There's plenty of boys that will come hankering and gruvvelling around when you've got an apple, and beg the core off you; but when they're got one, and you beg for the core, and remind them how you give them a core one time, they take a mouth at you, and say thank you 'most to death, but there ain't a-going to be no core.

Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.