I purpose publishing these Letters here in the world before I return to you. Two editions. One, unedited, for Bible readers and their children; the other, expurgated, for persons of refinement

Annihilation has no terrors for me, because I have already tried it before I was born --a hundred million years --and I have suffered more in an hour, in this life, than I remember to have suffered in the whole hundred million years put together.

Often the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth.

One of the proofs of the immortality of the soul is that myriads have believed it. They also believed the world was flat.

One must travel, to learn.

Adam was the author of sin, and I wish he had taken out an international copyright on it.

I pity the fellow who has to create a dialect or paraphrase the dictionary to get laughs. I can't spell, but I have never stooped to spell cat with a 'k' to get at your funny bone. I love a drink, but I never encouraged drunkenness by harping on its alleged funny side.