Man is the Reasoning Animal. Such is the claim. I think it is open to dispute. Indeed, my experiments have proven to me that he is the Unreasoning Animal... In truth, man is incurably foolish. Simple things which the other animals easily learn, he is incapable of learning. Among my experiments was this. In an hour I taught a cat and a dog to be friends. I put them in a cage. In another hour I taught them to be friends with a rabbit. In the course of two days I was able to add a fox, a goose, a squirrel and some doves. Finally a monkey. They lived together in peace; even affectionately.

The secret of making progress is to get started.

God, so atrocious in the Old Testament, so attractive in the New--the Jekyl and Hyde of sacred romance.

The devil's aversion to holy water is a light matter compared with a despots dread of a newspaper that laughs.

Don't look at the world with your hands in your pockets. To write about it you have to reach out and touch it.

Unused talents gives you no advantage over someone who has no talent at all.

I have never examined the subject of humor until now. I am surprised to find how much ground it covers. I have got its divisions and frontiers down on a piece of paper. I find it defined as a production of the brain, as the power of the brain to produce something humorous, and the capacity of percieving humor.